The Roller Coaster of Motherhood: Sonal Katyal on Finding Herself Through Love, Challenges and Self-Discovery
Motherhood is often described as a beautiful journey, but it is also one filled with unexpected challenges, emotional shifts and moments of self-discovery. For Sonal Katyal, Founder of Roller Coaster of Motherhood, the experience has been a transformative journey that has reshaped her understanding of love, patience, resilience and self-acceptance. From navigating the early days of motherhood to learning to balance personal identity with parental responsibilities, Sonal reflects on the realities of being a mother and why embracing imperfections is an essential part of the journey.
1. How has motherhood changed you as a person, both emotionally and mentally?
Motherhood has changed me in ways I could never have fully anticipated. Emotionally, it has made me more sensitive, empathetic and deeply aware of the little things in life. I have discovered a kind of love that is unconditional and all-encompassing, but I have also experienced vulnerability in ways I never did before. Mentally, motherhood has taught me to be more adaptable, patient and accepting of uncertainty. You can plan everything, but children have their own timelines and personalities. I have learned that growth does not always mean having everything figured out; sometimes, it simply means showing up every day, even when you feel unsure. Motherhood has also helped me understand myself better, including my strengths, fears and limitations.
2. What were some of the biggest challenges you faced while navigating the early days of motherhood?
The early days of motherhood can be overwhelming because everything changes at once. There is a new routine, disrupted sleep, physical exhaustion and the constant responsibility of caring for another human being. One of the biggest challenges is learning to trust yourself while dealing with the endless advice and expectations that come your way. As a new mother, you often question whether you are doing enough or making the right decisions. There is also the emotional adjustment of moving into a new identity while trying to understand your baby’s needs. I gradually realised that there is no universal manual for motherhood. Every child is different, and every mother’s journey is unique. Learning to take things one day at a time and accepting support made a significant difference.
3. How do you manage the emotional ups and downs of motherhood while balancing your personal identity and responsibilities?
I have come to understand that balance is not about giving equal time to everything every day; it is about recognising what needs your attention in the moment. Some days, motherhood takes centre stage, while on others, I need to make space for myself, my interests and my personal goals. I try to remind myself that being a mother is an important part of my identity, but it is not the entirety of who I am. Making time for small things that bring me joy, acknowledging my emotions instead of suppressing them, and allowing myself to ask for help have all been important. I also believe that mothers need to let go of the guilt associated with prioritising themselves. Taking care of your own emotional well-being is not selfish; it helps you show up with greater patience and presence for your family.
4. What has motherhood taught you about patience, resilience, and self-love?
Motherhood has taught me that patience is not simply about staying calm; it is about learning to respond with understanding, even when things do not go as planned. Resilience, too, has taken on a different meaning. It is not about being strong all the time, but about finding the courage to begin again after a difficult day. Most importantly, motherhood has taught me the value of self-love. There are moments when you feel you could have done more or handled a situation differently, but I have learned that constantly criticising yourself does not make you a better mother. Giving yourself the same kindness and compassion that you offer your child is equally important. I am learning to celebrate small victories, accept imperfections and understand that personal growth is an ongoing process.
5. What advice would you give to new mothers who are struggling with the pressure of being a perfect parent?
My biggest advice to new mothers would be to release the pressure of perfection. You do not have to be a perfect parent; you need to be a present, loving and willing-to-learn parent. Social media and societal expectations can sometimes create the impression that everyone else has motherhood figured out, but every family has its own struggles, even if they are not visible. Do not compare your journey with someone else’s, and do not be afraid to ask for help when you need it. Give yourself permission to make mistakes, take breaks and rediscover yourself along the way. Your child does not need you to get everything right; they need love, security and connection. Remember that you are growing alongside your child, and you deserve patience and compassion, too. Motherhood is not about losing yourself to become a mother; it is about discovering new parts of yourself while learning to love another person deeply.
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